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Good Afternoon, McKinley High! Jacob here, bringing you this week's juciest, most sensational gossip: 100% True, 100% of the Time!

Dapper Dalton Dude in Danger?

Those late in McKinley High last Wednesday were treated to an earful from none other than Blaine Anderson, Dalton's former poster boy. But it wasn't the earful to be expected. Instead of belting out ballads, Mr Anderson was overheard in the rather loud throes of passion with none other than Castor Pollux Castor Stuart! But wait I hear you gasp, isn't Castor, our darling little hippie child, in a high profile relationship with McKinley's own Dave Karofsky? Well, yes, that was what we heard too. No news of a CAVE break up, but news to follow pending the verification on Mr Stuart's current locations.

Transfer Teen in Assault Scandal!

Recent transfer student and all around tearaway, Lisa Lowel has been implicated in the report of a sexual assault turned vicious on Thursday night. Information suggests that the would be attackers received a rusty blade to the scrotum following the assault. Ms Lowel has been unable to comment due to rampant rumours of serious hangover and post-traumatic stress.

TRIGGER WARNING PEOPLE YOU ARE WARNED FOR TRIGGERS happy?


Another McKinley Mental Break?

Sources claim that McKinley's newest psycho trouble student Bethan Milligan recently suffered an all out psychotic break and attempted to end her life by stabbing herself in the stomach. Illegally obtained Doctor's reports suggest a possible psychotic episode. This would not be Ms Milligan's first.

Bartie Break Up Update!

Location of the third party involved in the demise of the Brittany Pierce and Artie Abrams relationship has been discovered! Irish born ginger giant, Eoin Costigan is presumed to have had a lovely night with Ms Pierce during an apparent 'break' in the Bartie relationship. Mr Costigan now sports matching black eyes, indicating that perhaps he was the final nail in the coffin of the glee club romance.

Another Glee Club Bust Up

Hot on the heels of the Bartie break comes the demise of another glee club couple; Noah 'Puck' Puckerman ended a three month relationship with junior Olivia Gilmore at the Lima Bean this weekend. Haplessly witnessing the break-up was yours truly and personally, there could've been more yelling.

Remember, you heard it here first!

Posted 2/13/12 @ 3:45pm

Once again the fated GLEE CLUB CURSE strikes on an unfortunate relationship.

Loved up no more! Brittany S. Pierce was overheard discussing the fated break in her long term relationship with miracle boy Artie Abrams! The Glee Club mismatch duo have been dating since the beginning of the year, lasted through danger at prom and Abrams' disability scam!



No confirmation as yet, but sources suggest an outside male was involved (presumably on Miss Pierce's side of things). What does this spell out for Artie and Brittany? Well, the Cheerio already has a list of conquests as long as Puckerman's rap sheet, and newly appreciated Soccer star Abrams is noted to be experiencing a bit of perk in popularity.

Is the BARTIE PARTY over for good?

This reporter will do the digging!!!

Posted 2/07/12 @ 09:45am

Good Afternoon, McKinley High! Jacob here, bringing you this week's juciest, most sensational gossip: 100% True, 100% of the Time!

Mystery Man for newly reinstated Cheerio?

Tongues are set wagging at the sight of former-chastity queen Quinn Fabray sporting, you guessed it, love bites. Is there a new man for the power-house Cheerio? Or is Ms Fabray back with her jolly giant on-off boyfriends, Finn Hudson once again? Inquiring minds want to know.

Rachel Berry; single no more?

Although it displeases me so, my future wife Rachel Berry is engaging in a romance of sorts it seems, with fellow Glee team mate Jaime Ishii. Neither the fabulous Ms Berry or her questionably suitable beau have been available for comment, but this reporter can tell you have questions, an ill-fated match? And why the secrecy? We will soon find out.

Disaster Strikes!

The sad speculation that father-of-one and reformed bad-boy Noah 'Puck' Puckerman and current squeeze Olivia Gilmore suffered a terrible loss just last week with the junior being whisked to hospital. Early reports suggest the pair were in the family way when Ms Gilmore had her fall. More news as it breaks!

Bully Whips fail to function

Official statements from scared witnesses confirm, finally, that the attack on former bully and jock Dave Karofsky's boyfriend, recent transfer Castor Stuart was fuelled by homophobia! While no one will confirm the identity of the attacker, speculation is rife with the belief that former best friends Karofsky and Azimio Adams have an axe to grind over the beating which landed Stuart in the hospital. Is retaliation set to follow?

Remember, you heard it here first!

Posted 1/23/12 @ 2:45pm

Has a gay pandemic affected McKinley High? Our sources point to YES. First it was Puckerman. Openly making out with New Kid, the former boyfriend of McKinley's original Gay, Kurt Hummel. But has this "lifestyle" spread more than that. All signs point to RAINBOW.

*.jpg of Dave & Cas in Dave's car after the game. Kinda blurry, but it's obvious they're kissing*

If you can't tell, that is none-other than former Bully DAVID KAROFSKY. It appears his former regime of terror was nothing but a plot to hide the glass closet he was in. Sources from around Lima inform me that Karofsky spent much of his summer cozied up to Kurt Hummel at PFLAG meetings. Karofsky was just hit by lightning? Coincidence? I think not.

To make matters worse, it appears the epidemic is spreading through the football team.

*.jpg of Sam & Kurt after the fire, with Sam thumbing the soot off Kurt's face and them standing very close*

In case you can't tell, that's our very own STAR QUARTERBACK SAM EVANS getting up close and personal with Mr. Fancypants himself.

So you tell me, Gentle Reader, is this just friendship, or is Hummel's gayness spreading?

All I have to say is, watch out Titans!

Next Time: More on Artie Abrams' insurance scam, and the dirty details behind the nepotism involved in the school musical.

Posted 9/23 @ 5:31 CST

Good Afternoon, McKinley High! Jacob here, bringing you this week's juciest, most sensational gossip: 100% True, 100% of the Time!

Guess which Titan is now playing for the other team?

That's right! McKinley's own self-proclaimed Sex Shark Noah "Puck" Puckerman has finally run out of ladies and Cougars to go to town on. But who's that he's macking on?

That's Blaine Anderson, recent transfer student from the private, all-boys school, Dalton Academy, boyfriend of our very own resident homo, Kurt Hummel. Apparently, the wealthy Mr. Anderson has thrown over the cold fashionista for the hot-blooded ladies' man. Ouch!

In even more shocking news, can you guess which "Special Needs" student at McKinley is nothing but a fraud?

If you guessed Artie Abrams, you'd be right. Trusted sources say that the wheel-chair bound Gleek has been scamming his insurance agency for years. Eye-witness reports validate this information, as Abrams was spotted in the cafeteria JUMPING out of his oh-so-necessary wheelchair at the sound of a locker slamming. WANKY!

Remember, you heard it here first!

Posted 9/16/11 @ 3:45pm